Why is being a stay at home mom so hard? Find out how to defeat stay at home mom burnout, isolation, and overwhelm with these 9 tips.
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Do you ever feel like you’re beyond lonely even though you’re never alone?
You used to take long, hot, steamy showers to relax and now you can’t even go to the bathroom without a baby staring at you or your toddler pushing their toys under the door.
And anytime you ask for a break or try to vent about how overwhelmed you are you hear, “Why are you complaining? You chose to be a stay at home mom.”
Statements like this make you feel even worse and more unappreciated.
People don’t understand how lonely it is being at home all day. It sounds amazing, but it has its own set of challenges. And certain situations make you feel even more alone.
The real reasons why stay at home moms are lonely
Some circumstances cause stay at home moms to feel isolated a majority of the time which leads to overwhelm, exhaustion, and depression. Here are 6 brutally honest reasons why being a stay at home can be so lonely.
Not getting any help
When your spouse works all day they may not feel like helping out at home even if that means spending time with their child while you hop in the shower.
No family or friends
Sometimes we live away from family or friends because of our spouse’s job. Or maybe you don’t have a close-knit family or any friends.
Being an introvert makes it even harder to make mom friends. When you see the other moms huddled together talking and laughing it can be intimidating to go up and introduce yourself.
For many of us, being a stay at home mom was the best financial decision for our family. Sometimes, childcare costs the same as a mortgage, or even with both parents working it’s still not affordable.
When you don’t have a car you really feel trapped in your house. And taking a bus around town may not be an option.
Child’s routine and busy schedule
Trying to plan things around your child’s routine especially with another mom may go something like this:
You: Wanna meet up at 10:30?
Her: Can’t. That’s nap time. What about 11:30?
You: That’s nap time for us. Can you do 1?
Her: She has a doctor’s appointment at 1, but we’ll be done by 3.
You: Ugh, I have our grocery delivery scheduled at 3.
You get the point.
The solution for stay at home mom loneliness
A lot of these reasons are beyond your control so here are 9 ways to cope with loneliness and overwhelm as a stay at home mom.
1. Have alone time
Getting out of the house alone gives you time to get some fresh air and recharge your battery without being on mom duty.
A few ideas would be to:
- Get your hair done
- Get your nails done
- Go to a walking trail
- Walk around Target or the mall
- Hang out with a girlfriend
Being a stay at home mom doesn’t mean you should never get a break.
2. Make friends
Making mom friends isn’t always easy especially if you’re an introvert. Here’s a few tips to speed up the process.
Go where the moms are
Hanging out at places that are full of moms will make it easier to meet other moms.
These include places like:
- Children’s museum
- Mommy and me classes
Make it part of your daily routine to visit one of these places so you can start mingling with other moms while your child is playing.
Join a gym
Many gyms offer childcare while you work out. Go to a gym class a few times a week so you can meet other moms who are also interested in working out.
And if it’s hard for you to stay motivated to work out, maybe having a friend in the class will motivate you to go.
This app is like Tinder for moms. When you see a mom that you’re interested in being friends with swipe up to wave at her.
This is a free app that helps you connect with moms near your area.
Join a few mom support groups on Facebook and make a post telling a little bit about yourself and that you’re looking for new mom friends.
I see these posts all the time and they get hundreds of comments because so many moms need friends.
3. Find a hobby
Having a hobby will give you something to look forward to and let you be creative. A few hobby ideas are:
Finding a hobby that you’re passionate about can be your creative outlet.
4. Work from home
Being in the age of technology means there are endless ways to make money from home. Look into:
- Virtual assistant
- Vlogging (having your own Youtube channel)
The work from home possibilities are endless and you create your own schedule.
5. Get out more
Being cooped up in the house 24/7 is enough to drive anyone to crazy town. Your body needs fresh air and vitamin D (from sunlight).
Make it part of your daily routine to go outside even if you just stand in the driveway or the backyard.
6. Exercise and eat better
When you feel better about yourself you’ll have a better mood. Working out increases your energy levels so you won’t feel as exhausted and run down every day.
To keep your body fueled, add healthy foods into your diet like avocados, oats, and good sources of protein.
7. Get childcare
Just because you’re a stay at home mom doesn’t mean you can’t benefit from childcare. It’s easier to go grocery shopping, clean, or even take a nap while your kid is gone.
Look for mother’s day out programs in your area. These programs are usually more affordable than daycare.
8. Go to church
Church is a great place to meet other like-minded moms. Most churches even have special programs geared to a certain group like singles, moms, or couples night.
9. Change your outlook
When you wake up prepared for the day to be terrible and already in a bad mood, everything is even more irritating and you’ll have more mental breakdowns.
Start practicing gratitude and write down 10 good things that happened throughout the day. This will help you focus more on the good instead of the bad.
Famous last words…
Being a stay at home mom doesn’t have to be lonely. Some days will be better than others and that’s normal.
Find ways to make yourself happy and include outings as part of your daily routine. If you ever feel yourself spiraling, seek medical attention.
Keeping everything bottled up is a sure-fire way to explode, so take control of your situation before it gets worse.