Learning how to find inner peace and happiness within yourself is a difficult task but one of the most rewarding things you will ever do.
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It’s one of those days where you sit and look back at all of the crap you’ve been through.
The arguments, the betrayals, the pain you wish you could forget about.
Maybe if you would have done something different things wouldn’t be so screwed up.
Like skip that last insulting comment even though you feel it’s 100% correct.
But now that it’s all messed up where do you go from here?
Should you apologize even though you’re not sorry? Or call them first instead of waiting for them to call you? Or maybe you should suck it up and deal with that douchebag during the holidays so you can spend time with your family?
Whatever you decide, make sure it’s a decision that you can go to bed and be happy.
If you know apologizing is going to eat at your soul like a worm eating an apple then don’t do it until you’re ready.
In the meantime, here are 9 ways you can find inner peace and happiness within yourself.
1. Embrace emotions
It may seem easier to avoid the pain by self-medicating or keeping yourself so busy you don’t have time to think about it. But at the end of the day, those feelings will still be there and they’ll be even stronger than they were before.
Accept the emotions and give yourself permission to not be ok.
It’s common during a grieving process to act like you’re doing fine even though your heart has been shattered into a million and one pieces.
When my mom got diagnosed with breast cancer, I felt my world crashing around me like a building crumbling during a demolition.
What is life without her in it? How do I continue to go through life if I don’t have my best friend?
The next few months were filled with tears, anger, and fear. But they were also filled with laughter and love.
I went with my mom to every doctor’s appointment and chemo treatment.
During one of the worst times in our lives, we spent each day enjoying each other’s company and not being afraid to have those gut-wrenching heart to heart moments.
She celebrated 7 years of being cancer free in September of 2019!
Our relationship is stronger than ever because we weren’t afraid to feel.
Don’t be afraid to embrace your emotions.
2. You deserve love
Whenever you don’t appreciate yourself it’s easier to convince yourself that you’re undeserving of someone’s love, including your own.
You may have grown up in a crappy family or shitty things have happened to you during your life that makes you question your existence.
Who would love someone like me? Why am I even here?
Before you can expect anyone to love you, you’ve got to love yourself!
Accept yourself for who you are. Flaws and all. Embrace those flaws because that’s what makes you special.
The best thing you will ever do for yourself in life is become your own best friend.
You will learn to have an amazing time with yourself and you’ll learn to only depend on you.
And if you let yourself down, get back up and do it better next time. Don’t expect perfection.
3. Be present
When you’re taking a hot shower or on your way to work, it’s easy to replay all the BS that’s been thrown your way.
All of the lies and yelling. All of the tears that stain your pillowcase and your heart.
I know it’s easier said than done, but you’ve gotta find a way to move on.
And moving on doesn’t mean you forget all the hurt you’ve been through. It means you don’t let that hurt consume your happiness.
Learn to forgive.
Holding onto anger will eat away at your soul and make you go through life on autopilot.
It’s a slow and steady destruction from the inside out.
Don’t forgive someone for their happiness, do it for your own.
4. Remove negativity
Getting rid of toxic people will ensure you don’t go back down the negative rabbit hole.
Usually it’s the people closest to you that bring you down the furthest.
But how do you cut off people that mean so much to you?
Limit your availability to that person. Answer fewer phone calls and text messages. Don’t hang out with them as much.
If you prefer to be more direct, tell them you will be distancing yourself from them. And remember that you owe nobody an explanation of your feelings.
If you feel like they are toxic to your mental health then do what’s best for you. Make yourself a priority.
5. Remain positive
When you surround yourself with negativity it’s easier to be mean to yourself because you’ve convinced yourself you deserve it.
At the end of the day nobody has your back like you do! Be nice to yourself.
Start your morning routine with positive affirmations. Find the good in any situation.
Even though my mom was going through a life changing battle with cancer, she still found positivity in the negativity haystack.
Start practicing positivity today.
If you get laid off from your job brainstorm ways you can start your own business.
If you find out your baby will have special needs, embrace the challenge because you’ve been chosen to be their mommy for a reason.
If you drop your phone in the toilet enjoy some time without social media or distractions.
There’s a glimpse of light in every situation, you just have to find it.
6. Get creative
In this digital age, there are so many creative ways to document your struggles and cope with your pain.
You can start a bullet journal, a blog, or even a YouTube channel.
You may feel alone but you’re not.
Find ways to connect with other people who can understand and help you through your situation.
Release your emotions like a Coca Cola bottle that’s been shaken by a toddler.
Write so fast in your bullet journal that you can see smoke coming from your pen.
Pour your heart out on your YouTube channel and help someone who can’t find the small glimpse of light in their life.
Type a heartfelt blog post through the tears clouding your vision.
Whatever creative outlet you decide, get those emotions out and don’t let them steal another second of your happiness.
7. Seek help
If you feel like life has gotten to the point that you can’t handle another second, get help immediately.
There’s no need to be ashamed of realizing things have spiraled out of your grasp.
Do your research before scheduling an appointment with someone. Read reviews to find out other people’s experiences with this person.
Put all of your emotions out there and be accepting of the help and feedback.
Finding inner peace and happiness within yourself is a process that takes constant work.
Whenever you’re ready, make that phone call or sincerely apologize.
Take control of your situation and make yourself a priority.